I was interested to read about Viv's fretting, because I've been fretting an awful lot myself lately. Not so much in the past few days, but in the last month or two. I am often not good at separating what I need to fret about from what I don't need to fret about. Although it's probably better not to fret at all; I mean, if something's worth worrying about it's probably worth just getting up and taking care of.

My problem is that I tend to take everything very, very personally. If Marty is stressed or upset about something, I often assume I'm doing something to cause it: spending too much money, not doing my share of the work around the house, etc. These are things he rarely, if ever, complains to me about. He is really not a very critical person, and I don't have any reason to think he's thinking critical thoughts about me . . . but still, my first inclination when he is silent or stressed is to wonder what I'm doing to cause it.

It's not just with Marty. I do this at work, too. I do this with my friends. I internalize a lot of negative stuff and sometimes suppress my own anger, and it builds up until I start feeling really, really stressed out.

This is not news. I've known I do this for awhile. I've been dealing with it for years, but things had gotten a lot better and I guess I'd stopped thinking about it. Lately I've felt knocked out by it, emotionally and physically. It's sometimes hard for me to recognize when I'm putting this kind of pressure on myself. Other people can see it better than I can. Luckily there are people in my life who will tell me when they see this happening.

So I've been going to the gym to get rid of the physical stress. Talking stuff out with people to get rid of the other. Thinking a lot about how I want to be, and how I deal with stuff, to try to cut back on the fretting.

Now I'm going to go fold some laundry.