Monday, August 06, 2001

Monkey Business

Ah, the things we do for love.

Yesterday Marty and I went to see the new Planet of the Apes movie directed by Tim Burton. Marty is an old-time Planet of the Apes fan, having seen the original movie repeatedly and the whole series at least a couple of times. I think he loves the old movie for its treatment of cultural issues like racism and evolution. Or maybe he just likes the apes.

That said, Planet of the Apes is really not my thing. But anyway, I went. After all, he went to see the X-Files movie with me 3 years ago -- he, who loathes The X-Files -- so I figured I owed him one. (And earlier this summer I had flat-out refused to see Artificial Intelligence.) We went to a 4:40 showing yesterday in Meriden, CT.

It wasn't too bad. I mean, it wasn't up to Tim Burton's true classics -- like Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Batman, Beetlejuice, and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure -- but neither was it a Stinky (er, Sleepy) Hollow. In fact, I would go so far as to say it was MUCH BETTER than Sleepy Hollow. But at the same time, it was only about 2 hours long and I found myself checking my watch several times in the second half.

Marky Mark Wahlberg did a great job as the main character, and Helena Bonham-Carter was absolutely perfect as the ape who fights for human rights. They also have a nice little attraction thing going on, too, but I think it was sacrificed in order to keep the PG-13 rating (bestiality, anyone?). Tim Roth as the evil ape general was terrifying and ridiculous by turns. Charlton Heston had a mind-bending cameo that tested the boundaries of irony, as a peacenik ape who describes guns as the root of all evil (damn them all to hell!).

But even Marky Mark and Helena Bonham-Carter were not enough to make up for the unexpected appearance of Kris Kristofferson. That was a surprise I hadn't counted on. (Although, to his credit, he didn't have very many lines, and died in the first 20 minutes. If only the same could be said for his role in Dance With Me).

My final verdict: not bad. No, it wasn't equal to Tim Burton's best work, and it might possibly have been improved with the addition of Colin Firth. But it was fun to watch Marky Mark trying to outwit those bad monkeys. He sure has grown up to be a hottie.

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