Just the Beginning
I've been thinking a lot about how I make friends recently. Sometimes I meet someone and I just know that we could be friends. Maybe we share opinions, interests, a sense of humor, or something even less definable. It's a magic moment when that happens. Other times I might know someone for a long time before I really begin to understand who they are. It's a wonderful surprise when someone I've known for awhile starts to unfold before me in that way.
Either way, whether it's immediate or gradual, it always feels good to make a new friend. Finding that kind of connection with another person is a real delight.
Of course, it's also the kind of thing you can't force. You can put yourself into situations where you'll meet people, but you can't make friendships happen. It took me a long time to figure that out.
Another thing that interests me about friendship is how different my relationships are with different people. I have become much more conscious in recent years of how friendships are determined by the needs of both participants. This has become so much clearer to me since I've become an adult that I sometimes feel like I'm a different person in my relationships with different people. (Actually, just so you know, I don't date my becoming an adult back all that far. Really only a year or two, despite my looming 33rd birthday.)
As an adult, I spend so much time at work that it can be hard to meet people outside of it. But making friends at work can be tricky. It's great to have a support system, but it can also be difficult to work with people who know too much about your personal life. I have found that I do a lot better with people who don't work in the same department as me. (Since I am currently a department of one, I guess everyone else in the entire company is a potential friend. Well, okay, not really.)
Anyway, my closest friend at work is about to move to another company. When we met, about a year and a half ago, we hit it off immediately. We were like kindred spirits in a corporate world. We eat lunch together two or three days a week, when we're able to. I will miss her dreadfully when she goes. Her last day is a week from tomorrow.
But I know we will stay in touch. And I am cultivating some other friendships at work, too. There are some nice people there, and when you can get them out of the office they are even nicer.
I am a lucky, lucky girl when it comes to friends. I have the best in the world.
I've been thinking a lot about how I make friends recently. Sometimes I meet someone and I just know that we could be friends. Maybe we share opinions, interests, a sense of humor, or something even less definable. It's a magic moment when that happens. Other times I might know someone for a long time before I really begin to understand who they are. It's a wonderful surprise when someone I've known for awhile starts to unfold before me in that way. Either way, whether it's immediate or gradual, it always feels good to make a new friend. Finding that kind of connection with another person is a real delight.
Of course, it's also the kind of thing you can't force. You can put yourself into situations where you'll meet people, but you can't make friendships happen. It took me a long time to figure that out.
Another thing that interests me about friendship is how different my relationships are with different people. I have become much more conscious in recent years of how friendships are determined by the needs of both participants. This has become so much clearer to me since I've become an adult that I sometimes feel like I'm a different person in my relationships with different people. (Actually, just so you know, I don't date my becoming an adult back all that far. Really only a year or two, despite my looming 33rd birthday.)
As an adult, I spend so much time at work that it can be hard to meet people outside of it. But making friends at work can be tricky. It's great to have a support system, but it can also be difficult to work with people who know too much about your personal life. I have found that I do a lot better with people who don't work in the same department as me. (Since I am currently a department of one, I guess everyone else in the entire company is a potential friend. Well, okay, not really.)
Anyway, my closest friend at work is about to move to another company. When we met, about a year and a half ago, we hit it off immediately. We were like kindred spirits in a corporate world. We eat lunch together two or three days a week, when we're able to. I will miss her dreadfully when she goes. Her last day is a week from tomorrow.
But I know we will stay in touch. And I am cultivating some other friendships at work, too. There are some nice people there, and when you can get them out of the office they are even nicer.
I am a lucky, lucky girl when it comes to friends. I have the best in the world.
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