Time for my latest Brunching Shuttlecocks plug.

The self-made critic has reviewed The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. An excerpt:

This is a story of good vs. evil, with evil being all-powerful and good being generally 3 feet tall with hairy feet.

He goes on to give the movie 4 4/5 Babylons, saying, "I'd give it 5, but it IS amazingly long, and you simply don't get 5 Babylons unless you come in under 3 hours, some of us have poor circulation in our legs and ass."

I love the self-made critic.