Visit 2000
Visit 1999
Visit 1998

Photon Torpedos . . .
the universal greeting for
people you don't like

Dessert:
Raspberries, vanilla ice cream, and chambord . . .
mmmmmmm

But we were surprised -- it was good!  They didn't try to do too much this time, they just focused on a plot that was somehow very similar to a TNG episode plot.  A more involved episode, maybe, but the focus was on the characters rather than the effects, and I thought it worked well.  It made a lot more sense than trying to save the universe, like they usually do.

The previews were less inspiring.  Mel Gibson has a new movie called Payback coming out in February that looks just awful.   There's something dumb called Varsity Blues coming up, which I guess is 1999's answer to Footloose.  The only thing that looked interesting was The Mod Squad, with Claire Danes . . . who is looking really, really great.  Oh, my god.  I think I'm going to have to see that one, just for her.  ;-)

We haven't seen the Star Wars trailer -- are we the only people in America who can say that?

Updated:
Gallery

If you're looking for something beautiful to read, may I suggest the poetry of John Keats?  Sonnet to Sleep, I think, is one of the loveliest poems I've ever read.  You can find much more at the Keats archive.

It's the end of the year . . . and I think 1999 is going to be another good one.

Reading:
The Optimist's Daughter,
Eudora Welty

Home again tonight, catching up on a few things.  The house is a wreck, but that won't matter.   After all, we just moved.  It's so good to see Ziggy again.

What do you think of, after midnight?  Tell me?

Reading:
This Boy's Life,
Tobias Wolff

I'll be flying home instead of riding with Marty, cause I'm meeting a friend at the airport on Tuesday. It's the reunion of Jan and June, and not a moment too soon!

Nails:
Key Lime

Yum:
Krispy Kreme Donuts

Whenever I come back to the South, I'm amazed at the differences with where we live now. Up here around Winston Salem N.C., particularly, everywhere you go people are smoking. It's so strange to think that it was once like that everywhere. In the airport, the mall, restaurants -- people walk right in with cigarettes in their mouths. They light up most anywhere. They grow a lot of tobacco down in south Georgia and north Florida, where I come from, but it's not like that there. The presence of the big tobacco companies really makes a difference. The tobacco lobby is king here.

My father-in-law has the prettiest black cat named Sadie. She has long hair and a sweet face, long black whiskers and golden eyes. She likes to make a grand entrance by walking into a room and announcing her presence with a big "meow." Of course, I still miss Ziggy . . . he's my boy. But I'll be home in a couple of days.

Updated:
Recommended Reading

The treachery of the storm is partly obscured by the beauty of the ice. The trees here are like delicate explosions of glass, catching the sunlight and spinning it out into magic webs of crystal. The cracking and creaking of ice-covered limbs are the only sounds in the silence of the winter world this morning.

All wishes for peace and love to you this holiday.

My place is of the light and
This place is of the dark and
I do not feel the romance
I do not catch the spark

By grace my sight grows stronger
And I will not be a pawn
To the prince of darkness
Any longer . . .

~ Emily Saliers

This morning we're off to North Carolina where it's icy and cold.  We're both looking forward to the trip, to seeing Marty's brothers and his dad's family.  This'll be the first time in at least five years that we've gone home for christmas. 

Still, there's a little part of me that will miss waking up here at home tomorrow morning with just Marty and Ziggy, and doing our own thing.  Part of our christmas tradition is going out to a restaurant on the 25th, any restaurant we can find that's open.  We've had a lot of christmas dinners in Chinese restaurants and diners.  :-)

I'm hoping to update the book page one more time this year, when I get back from this trip.  I've read two books since the last update, and I'm planning to take another one along today.  We'll see.  I haven't been inspired for the journal lately, I've been doing a lot of personal writing that's pulled the energy away from the online journal.  I'll get back to it in the new year, though, I'm sure.

Marty's had a sore throat all week . . . and he's so sweet, he's been very careful not to give it to me.  But four days with no kisses!   I'm just about ready to say that it's worth the risk.

Happy holidays!

Updated:
Links

CDs in Rotation:
Tom Petty, Wildflowers
Garbage, Version 2.0
Indigo Girls, Indigo Girls
U2, Achtung Baby
Def Leppard, Hysteria
Matchbox 20, Yourself or Someone Like You

This feels like the nicest holiday season I can remember in a long time.  I didn't have any specific expectations about what we'd do or what would happen, but as it turns out we've had a lot of fun with friends and the people we work with.  And I've been blessed with unexpected gifts . . . lovely surprises that have come by mail and by hand and by phone, special gifts that have delighted and touched me, and brought me peace.

Tomorrow is my last day as a temp.  It feels so good to be able to say that, and to know that I have something better waiting in the new year.  And on Thursday we leave for North Carolina, where we'll visit Marty's dad, stepmother, grandmother and brothers for the holiday.

Here's a holiday giggle: Santa's Muldeer.  Or would you call them G-deer?

Ziggy has somehow found a way up on top of my 7-foot tall bookcases . . . I'm starting to think that he just does things because he can.  That's the essential cat-ness about him.

Today I got a Mulder phone!  It's the cutest little cell phone just like his, with a little antenna you pull out.  I used to have this big old phone in my car, when I lived in Pennsylvania, but this one is so tiny and cute I could carry it in the pocket of my Armani jacket, were I Mulder.

Can you get in trouble for impersonating a Federal agent by using his telephone?  :-)  I wonder if Alex's number is on autodial?  I'm sure Scully's is.  (Alex doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd have the same phone number for very long at one time; maybe he has a voicemail pager.)

Well, I'm whipped.  I had blood taken today and somehow that seems to have drained all my energy, too.  Maybe that means I'll sleep tonight, at any rate.

My Fortune
(hee hee!)

Holiday Wishes
The bad girls were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of tool belts danced in their heads . . .

(and don't forget the
white t-shirts!)

Sometimes when I wake up I just lay in the bed and listen to Marty breathing in the dark, and feel the weight of a sleeping cat against my ankle.  Sometimes if I try, I can get back to sleep.  But this morning I got up and made a new section of this page.  So check out my Goodies.  It's not really new stuff, mostly just links to some things that are already here.  But they're things I don't want to lose track of, because they're things I like.

Tonight I cooked chili and cornbread, one of our favorite dinners for winter.  And for dessert we had Southern cornbread with New England maple syrup.   Worlds colliding in the most delightful way!

Okay, off to play with my beads and rubber stamps . . . and write some xmas cards.  :-)

Listening to:
Day and Night

Activity of the Day:
Unpacking

Thinking:
About my collaborative website again.  I'm itching to do something new, and RW is seeming so bright these days.

Stay tuned.

His poems are dark, too, but the bitterness comes in smaller doses, like tiny cups of Turkish coffee.   One of my favorite poems is Neutral Tones, which I think captures so many things perfectly: the light on a gray December day, the fruitless attempt to make sense of the past, and the familiar sense of isolation that accompanies such moments.  For more, visit the Hardy Archive at the Columbia University website.

Today we took a ride down to Lyman's Orchard in Middlefield, CT.  They have the most wonderful farm store there, with every kind of fruit, cheese, baked good and preserve you can think of.  And their cider is truly exceptional.   We made a goodie-run for the x-mas boxes, so Maple Syrup and Jostaberry Jam were the order of the day.  But I couldn't pass up a great buy on gorgonzola cheese, either.

Watching:
Two Lane Blacktop (1971)
starring James Taylor
and Dennis Wilson

Listening to:
The Possibilities
are Endless

Well, all that hard work paid off.  Two of those interviews I had last week resulted in job offers . . . and I ended up having to choose between them.  I never knew that it could be so difficult to choose between two wonderful opportunities.  It felt like either of them was the right choice, so it was really hard to turn one of them down.  But it's all settled, and I'm going to be a writer at a big company down in West Haven CT.   I'll start in January, just after I turn 30.  :-)

Making a decision like that really forces you to prioritize, and it can help you figure out things about yourself.  I'm sure my reflections on this will pop up in the journal at some point in the future.  And you thought all my moaning about the job search would be over once I got something I liked!

Marty's feeling under the weather tonight, probably because he had to have a bunch of vaccinations this week in preparation for a possible business trip to Taipei that looks like it's not going to happen now.   Instead, they may send him to San Francisco.  I told him that it might seem like SF was a foreign country when compared to Connecticut, but that I don't think they require immunizations before you go there.

And I attended a gathering of the Manchester Slashers this evening . . . as always, it was a good time.  Next time we'll have to go cruising and break out the car coats.

Updated yesterday:
Links

Let's play Twister,
Let's play Risk . . .
I'll see you in Heaven
If you make the list

~ R.E.M.

Well, let me put that a different way.  Yesterday, we volunteered at a Toys for Tots event in Hartford, the Hartford Symphony on Ice.  The Symphony was there, as were lots of local skaters, and a whole bunch of Marines.  I like to see their uniforms up close.  And those haircuts!  Marty doesn't seem too interested in getting one.  (A haircut, I mean.  Or a uniform.  Or a Marine, for that matter.)  For our toys, Marty brought Legos and I brought a Crayola art set.  No Barbies.  (Though we were definitely in the minority there.)

Today we went out and got a Christmas tree . . . and when we got home we did the traditional thing and put the Elvis Christmas Album on while we put up the lights.  You mean that's not a tradition in your house?  Nobody can sing Blue Christmas like Elvis, you know.

Anyway our tree is pretty (though we still have to put on the rest of the decorations) and Ziggy thinks we've lost our minds.  He's been running around like a madcat all afternoon.  "Guys, there's a tree in the house!"   You'd think after six years he'd remember this . . .

Updated:
Gallery

Re-reading:
Good Omens
by Neil Gaiman
and Terry Pratchett

It's Friday night, end of the week.  I had three job interviews this week (not two as I originally predicted) and I am exhausted.  Good news for all you English major job seekers: there are people out there with your background and interests and they're doing interesting work.  And best of all, they love their jobs.  It's been so much fun to go around and meet folks working all over the place, in writing and editing and related fields, and see how much personal satisfaction they get from what they do.

That giant sucking sound you hear is all the November entries being pulled over to the archive page . . . this today page seems so bare!  But it will load faster this way.

Nah . . . no updates.

Stuck in my head:
I'm Mr. Green Christmas
I'm Mr. Sun
I'm Mr. Heat Blister
I'm Mr. Hundred-and-One

(Hey, it's better than "A Chicken Steak Ran Through My House")

The funny part is, I've known Buddy Lee for years.  Even before he was this big star, "Buddy Lee, Man of Action."  Except when I knew him, he used to wear a pair of Lee overalls and a stiff little denim engineer's cap on his ping-pong ball head.  He lived on top of the spare room dresser at my Aunt Mamie's house for as long as I can remember.  I don't know where he is now, but boy do I wish I did.  If you ever see him . . . tell him I'm still pining.

I just love him.

So.  The moon is still full.  Tonight I went walking under the birches, watching the moon sighing behind the clouds.  And a friend sent me some wonderful moon thoughts, and I thought I'd share.

Giggle:
Egoiste!  Egoiste!  Egoiste!
(do you remember?)

Watching:
The Year Without a
Santa Claus
(I'm Mr. Heat-Miser . . . )

But it's good to find myself in the middle of all this commotion and activity and not to feel overwhelmed by it, or out of control.  I'm feeling very free, not anxious at all.  Liberation is a wonderful thing!

I've been doing a lot of driving lately, so the one thing I have been doing is listening to music.  Down in West Haven I found another used CD store, with a good selection and great prices!  I got a cool Lloyd Cole disc, and that Matchbox 20 one that I love so much.  The Lloyd Cole is great because half of the songs are sung by Matthew Sweet . . . it's almost like getting a bonus Sweet album!

And a friend sent me a wonderful M/K compilation tape . . . the best I've heard in quite awhile.  I've been cruising around listening to it in the last few days, feeling inspired.

Full moon tonight, and it is gorgeous. Maybe it'll shine through my bedroom skylight while I sleep, and turn me into a lunatic.

Baby, I can tell you there's no easy way out
Lost inside of dreams that guide you on
Baby, I can tell you there's no easy way out
Soon the guiding moonlight will be gone

"Silver Moon," David Sylvian

 

Updated:
Links

Fingers & Toes:
Lilac nail polish

We're back today from a great trip to Georgia.  This morning as we were driving from Hahira to the airport in Atlanta we passed several cotton fields, all picked now except for a few white rags clinging to dried cotton plants.

Today I read a wonderful novel, What Girls Learn by Karin Cook.  I bought this several months ago and just now took it along on this trip.  It's a book about mothers and daughters and sisters -- a beautiful, achingly real book.  I love to start reading a book in the airport and finish it that same day.  What else can you do while you're flying?

Well, after a week of food, friends, family and fun it's almost time to go back to work.  I have two job interviews planned for the coming week.  And there's still all that unpacking to do . . . but it was great to forget all about the boxes for a week and just focus on playing with beads, looking at furniture, and visiting with family and friends.

Updated:
Thoughts

Eating:
Black Forest Cake
(yum)

Cooking:
Grits Casserole
(by request)

Tonight we're having a happy birthday dinner, then Marty and I are planning to go out and visit our favorite bar from our college days: The Globe, in downtown Athens. Athens really is the coolest town; such a great college town, and so friendly and fun. We love it here.

In other news, the Georgia State Supreme Court just repealed the state sodomy law, making all kinds of things legal in the privacy of your own home. I'm amazed at this; I thought it would never happen. Get your laws out of my bedroom!

You know, there's something kind of pointless about sending black gummi candy to Sweden, but some things simply must be done.

Writing from:
Athens, Georgia

Happy to see:
kudzu
Georgia bulldogs
Waffle House
family and friends
peach car tags
zinnias blooming
pine straw
daylight after 5pm

It's always good to come home, to see the things we miss up north. Yeah, like the Waffle House. There's just nothing like it. :-) It's different from Connecticut in a lot of ways. Accents, landscape, way of life . . . and it's light out after five p.m. The leaves are just changing here, and Marty spent the afternoon raking his mom's yard. I went to my favorite bookstore here in Athens and got signed copies of Jim Grimsley's books . . . he's a local writer, and Dream Boy is still one of the best books I've ever read.

Tomorrow Marty turns 30 years old. In his words, he's "$29.95, for one day only." Hee hee. Then I'll be married to an "older man." Well . . . six weeks older, anyway.

So, we're hoping when we get back home, Ziggy will have all the boxes unpacked and all our things put away. He's a very intelligent cat, you know. ;-) Before you ask, yes, of course someone is coming in to see him while we're away. Thank you, Patt, we owe you big.

Now we have lots of boxes still to unpack, but we're in and we like the house.  Last night we celebrated with raspberry truffles . . . and when we went to bed, cozy and snug in flannel sheets, we saw shooting stars through the skylight in the bedroom ceiling.

Our new neighborhood seems perfect for walking and rollerblading.  And I have a room downstairs in the basement just for my rubber stamps and beads and other art stuff . . . I can't wait!  Even if a blue house is a crime against nature.  Hee hee.

As always, moving was an adventure.  Those wonderful, terrible bookcases -- the bane of my life since 1990, though I know I couldn't live without them -- yet again would not fit where we wanted them.  They ended up in our bedroom rather than the study, but I think it will work out well in the end.   I think the study will be a nicer place for guests without the big bookcases.   And at least we didn't have to hoist them up the outside of the house this time, and in through a balcony.  Like we did in Pleasant Gap.

In other news . . . happy birthday, Doug.  :-)

Listening to:
Soundtrack,
As an Angel Runs
to Ground

Can you see what I see?
Can you cut behind the mystery?
I will meet you by the witness tree
Leave the whole world behind . . .

Robbie Robertson,
Broken Arrow

The leaves are really falling now, and they fly up when you drive through them on the streets.  It's great to get out and walk in them, kicking them up as you go and shuffling through big piles of them on the sidewalks.  I guess it's easier to enjoy them when you don't have to rake, but then, I think all raking should be rewarded with a little romping . . .

Tomorrow the computer gets packed away.  And, pretty soon after we get moved, we're off to Georgia for Thanksgiving.  So Raspberry World could be a little quiet for the next couple of weeks.  There are a couple of recent updates over at Jan and June, though.  And my Thanksgiving recipes are up on the RW recipe page.

I got the greatest new stamps today at the Post Office.  Have you seen these before?  They really put a big smile on my face.  :-)

Updated:
Places I Love

Yum:
Sesame Blue Moon
tortilla chips

Listening to:
Tori Amos
(little earthquakes
in small doses)

I'm really getting to like Corel Photo-Paint.  All those 3-D effects are really cool with fonts and stuff.  I particularly like the "glass" effect.   Now if I could just figure out how to repeat the things I do, when I like them.   There's nothing more frustrating than not remembering how I got someplace.

I have to say, I think the creators of The X-Files are going back to their roots in the last couple of episodes, at least in terms of the gore and exploding body parts.  I had to squint through my fingers a couple of times tonight . . . although I was paying real close attention during the Action!Mulder!Driving sequences, fixating on that man's lower lip just like the rest of the free world.  Next week looks like "Mulder as Indiana Jones."  That is, Mulder battles Nazis and gets to kiss the girl.  (Anyone writing any XF/IJ crossovers?  Hmmmmmm.)

Updated:
Book Reviews

Munching:
Coffee M&Ms
(Well, they're not really M&Ms, because they're Swedish, but they look like M&Ms . . . and except for the coffee part, they taste like them too.  Yum!)

It gets so dark so early these days.  I can't believe we're still five weeks away from the solstice!  I guess moving to the eastern edge of the Eastern time zone really makes a difference.  I mean, out in Michigan and Ohio they're in the same time zone with us, but the sun goes down a lot later there because they're farther west.  When I leave work at 5 pm, it's just about pitch dark.   It reminds me of when I lived in England.

So, I updated the book page with the one book I have managed to read in the last month.  Sheesh, I sure am slowing down!  But the book was really good, so be sure to check it out.

Yawning, sleepy, off to bed . . .

Updated:
Journal

Listening to:
Ghosts soundtrack
(no, not Ghost)

I've found it difficult to write in the journal recently, but I've been writing some fanfiction.  It's fun to be in that stage where you've got a draft finished and people are reading it, commenting on it, suggesting ways to improve it.  Too bad it's so hard to get to that point . . . I mean, you have to write a story first!  But I think the editing process is wonderful, just a really interesting collaborative venture, especially when you have the kind of editors and readers I have.  :-)  I especially love it when they correct my writing with a fine-tooth comb.  Goodness knows I need it.

Besides that, I think I like the attention.  Foucault said, "Why do we write?  To be loved."  I wonder.

Updated:
Links

Tonight we ride, right or wrong
Tonight we sail, on a radio song
Rescue me, should I go down
If I stay too long in Trouble Town

~ Tom Petty, "You Wreck Me"

Tonight we watched Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.  Not for the first time.  :-)  That movie makes me giggle so hard.  I had forgotten that Mulder's girlfriend Diana was in it, and Scott Evil is played by Seth Green -- Oz from Buffy!  Marty and I will be quoting it for days, no doubt.

Austin Powers: There are only two things in this world that scare me, and one is nuclear war.
Basil: What's the other?
Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

Speaking of TV, I believe the season premiere of The X-Files is finally coming on next Sunday.  I just realized that the last new episode was on way back in May or so.  Six months back.  It boggles the mind.

Updated:
Gallery

I have been writing, and it feels so good.  It's one of those things where I'm not sure anyone else will like it or even get it, but it's making me happy.

Re: The Shipping News.  I hear from a Newfoundlander of my acquaintance that this book was poorly received in Newfoundland because of its historical inaccuracies.  I'm not too terribly surprised to hear that.   However, it's just a delightful book so far.  The story is interesting, but the most fascinating thing about it is the style.

Reading:
The Shipping News,
E. Annie Proulx

Listening to:
The Jan and June
Soundtrack

You, soft and only
You, lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest ocean
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

If you want to read something really cool about the Titanic, try Thomas Hardy's poem "The Convergence of the Twain."  He wrote it in 1912, in response to the Titanic tragedy when it happened.  It's about fate and destruction, two giant forces moving inextricably toward each other with only one conclusion possible.  It's one of my favorite poems.

Well, as Katynka says, one of us already wasted three (plus) hours of her life seeing this movie -- there's no reason we both should.  I got taken in on Forrest Gump.  I'm not going to let it happen this time.  I don't begrudge anyone else's love for Titanic, of course.   I'm sure it's a wonderful display of special effects.  But, by the same token, I also don't want to have to hear about how I must see this movie.  Please, just let me live my freakish life in peace . . .

(Actually, most any of Thomas Hardy's poems are really cool. Give him a try.)

Yum:
Raspberry sherbet

Pondering:
Do we really need a CHiPs reunion movie?

(And is anyone else scared that Johnnie Cochran is going to appear in it?)

I'm not feeling very profound lately.  I haven't had the desire to update the journal in a couple of weeks now, and my mind has been going a mile a minute on everything that's happening here.  It's been busy!

Tonight I was working on a resume and I found myself wondering whether I should leave on the line about being a member of the Penn State Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Support Network for four years.  I have it listed there with my community volunteer work and a couple of other activities.  It's definitely something I'm proud of, but I actually started wondering if it might put a potential employer off.   But then I thought about it, and decided that I wouldn't want to work anyplace that would have a problem with that group.  So I left it on my resume.

Still, it bothers me when I find myself thinking like that.   So many people are brave enough to stand up for what they believe in; I want to be, too.

Updated:
Links

Listening to:
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
(Soundtrack)

Well there's no doubt that life's a mystery,
But so too is the human heart.

~ MCC

It's such a cliche, but the internet does make the world seem smaller.  You have that contact with people so far away, friends and family and people you meet through email.   It's hard to remember what it was like before the world was connected to my computer.  It's not even that long ago -- I first used a modem in 1990, and that's only eight years ago.  Now I write email with my family and friends, and I know people all over the world who I'd never have known without the computer -- as far away as Sweden and Australia, and as close as the other end of Main Street right here in my town.

We've had a fun weekend.  Such beautiful weather, New England autumn, and a good friend visiting from Pennsylvania.  Lots of beads and stamps and giggling, which always makes the time fly by.  I found something wonderful when we were out shopping, a silver pendant watch on a silver chain with purple beads.   Simply could not resist . . . and then I made earrings to match.  Lovely.

Watching:
Voyager

Quote of the day:
I was a dirty bird --
Carol's not grungy,
she's bitchin'.

Yesterday I went with a friend to the greatest place.  An old-fashioned soda shop and rubber stamp store all in one.  My idea of heaven!  I had a black raspberry milkshake, which was the strangest purple color, and a wonderful sandwich with blue cheese on it!  And I looked at rubber stamps to my heart's content!  There were absolutely thousands of them.  It was overwhelming.   In the very best way.

For dinner tonight I made this black bean tortilla casserole recipe that I got from Amy and Tony a few years ago.  I'd forgotten how easy and tasty it was.  It's a really good one.

Now I think I'll go to bed before it gets too late and there's nobody left awake to spoon with. :-)

Updated:
Music

Watching:
Chef: Behind the Menu

Today is Dixie's birthday.  Any guesses how old?  22!  Ha!  (Are you scared yet?  Feeling old, anyone?)

That interview went well today.  The arts community in Hartford is very active, especially for such a small city.  It was really neat to see the inside of a theatre, too.  Even if I don't get that job, I have a couple of resumes out at other arts venues in the area.  Crossed fingers!

Tonight I heard the Canadian geese flying overhead, honking as they flew south.  I didn't think they flew in the dark, but they're out there.

Updated:
Links

Bumper Sticker:
"Visualize Grilled Cheese"
(seen yesterday in Boston)

Vacation Spot:
Cranberry World, Rhode Island
(but Raspberry World is sweeter)

That's the sound of my brain shorting out.  I had a bunch of stuff planned for the page this weekend but the time has slipped away from me.  So I just updated the links and I'll get back to the other as soon as I can.

Things are getting busy.  Lots of plans, lots of work to do, lots of fun trips coming up . . . seems like time is flying by these days.   Sometimes I feel like I just want to crash and veg in front of the TV . . .

Yesterday we walked the Freedom Trail, a historic walking tour of Boston.  We saw Paul Revere's house, the "One if by land, two if by sea" church, the site of the Boston Massacre, and lots of other interesting stuff.  In the process we walked through Little Italy, Haymarket, and several other parts of Boston.  We also saw Boston Common, which is a beautiful park.  It was a perfect day to be out in the sun.

Boston is hard to find your way around in -- the streets seem to bend back on themselves, and they don't seem to be named in any logical order.   However, the public transportation is extremely easy to use, so that makes up for it.

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

~Tom Petty

We drove home listening to Tom Petty, under a black velvet sky.

I'm learning Java and Perl at the moment.  It feels good to stretch my brain with something new.  I recently took over the web page at work, but mostly I want to know this stuff for my own sites.  :-)

Moving day is a month from today.  I brought a car full of empty boxes home today, because it's time to start packing.

Yum:
Apple-Peach-Kiwi juice
(nectar of the gods!)

Destination:
Coolsville

I sent out two resumes yesterday, and this afternoon I got a call for an interview for one of them!  So the interview is on Monday.  And it wasn't even the place I was really expecting would call, so maybe that one will, too.  This is a very good thing.  I would love to find something else to do, and soon.

Today I went to a cool bead shop, Beadoir in West Hartford, where they have the best layout I've seen yet.  I'm going to make some new earrings to wear for my interview.  :-)  And I went to this store in Farmington that I love, Design Forum, where they have great, great cards and gifts.  That's where I find the best candles, and the suggestive pasta and gummi candies, and the Diva David magnets, and all the rest of the goodies.  When I go there I just want to stay forever and spend lots of money I don't have.  I don't even let myself look at the jewelry there!

Updated:
Thoughts
Gallery

Marty's reading:
Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark; and
The Annals of Improbable Research

So, I just need to unpack the last couple of boxes from the move, so we can start the next one with a clean slate.  Ha ha.  :-/

I'm always amazed by people who live free of clutter, and a little envious, too.  I don't know exactly how I got to be the way I am, but I'm a real packrat.  I have dreams of a house big enough for everything, with enough closets and shelves and rooms for each little thing to have a place.  Of course you expand to fill your space, and I think my tendency is always to expand just a little bit more than the space I have to fill.  But if I can't cure myself of that tendency, I think I just have to embrace it.  Try to keep it under control, of course, but not try to pound it out of myself, either.  I'm too old to be changing who I am.   :-)

Updated:
Recipes

Listening to:
k.d. lang, Absolute Torch and Twang

What does it mean?
She's ported and relieved
And she's stroked and bored
She'll do a hundred and forty
With the top end floored

(and what the heck are
"Lake Pipes"?)

Today I came dangerously close to buying a jar of Raspberry Fluff at the grocery store . . . it's the prettiest pink, in this really cool retro jar with "fluff" embossed in the glass, 100% fat free and only 75 cents!   The only thing that stopped me was the thought of how disgusting the actual product might be . . . I mean, I love raspberry, and I can tolerate marshmallow fluff about as well as most adults (i.e., very little), but the combination really worries me.  I mean, how could you eat it?   Would the taste of imitation raspberry improve a fluffernutter, or detract from it?  I couldn't decide whether the wonderful jar and the look of it was worth 75 cents to me, since I assumed I wouldn't be able to stomach what was inside.   So I went for the raspberry newtons instead.

I think grocery stores may be solely responsible for keeping deBarge alive in the collective unconscious of our culture . . . where else can you hear their songs on a regular basis?  And you know, every time you hear Fresh it just grinds the words even deeper in to your brain.  I don't think it's by accident, either, because there seems to be a conspiracy to keep anything approaching good music off the supermarket airwaves . . . today, Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days come on for about half a verse, and then it was yanked in favor of Steely Dan.  Supermarket censorship!  No wonder I was so close to buying fluff.

Love:
Raspberry margarita

Hate:
Wet shoes

It's raining again.  I'm working on another resume.  Ziggy's lurking in a paper sack under the desk.   Seems like things are always the same around here, doesn't it?  Hey, it's my life!

Drinking:
Sweet Dreams tea

Heard tonight:
Rain outside my window, splashing the leaves on the tree and spattering against the glass

I believe, if there were such a thing as angels, they would sing like the Beach Boys.  Don't scoff until you've listened again to Surfer Girl, God Only Knows, and Good Vibrations.  Their voices were just incredible.   And the combination of their voices was much greater than the sum of its parts.

Of course, if there were a heavenly host, I'm not so certain they'd be singing this:

He's hot with ram induction but it's understood
I got a fuel injected engine sittin' under my hood
Shut it off, shut it off, buddy gonna shut you down

But then again, what do I know?  ;-)

Updated:
Links

Listening to:
Peter Gabriel, So

Got to walk out of here
I can't take any more
Gonna stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river's flowing

~ Peter Gabriel,
"Don't Give Up"

I'll write about these books on the book page or in the journal soon.  Have to do some thinking first.

I have a cold, just a sniffly achy kind of cold.   Nothing deadly but it does tend to fuzz the brain.  Something seems to be going around, in Manchester at least.  I think the entire slash population is wiped out at the moment.  ;-)  "The Manchester Slashers," it should be a nouveau-swing band or a street gang or something.  Hee!

To while away the time I'm watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and playing with Photo-Paint.  I learned to use a mask!  And I made a lovely picture of Gillian Anderson surrounded by blue silk.   Mmm.

Updated:
Thoughts

Listening to:
Matthew Sweet,
Girlfriend

Eating:
Starbucks Java Chip ice cream

Also picked up the book Programming Perl, by Wall, Christiansen, and Schwartz, for 50% off.  I've been meaning to get it for awhile, and this was a better price than I could get at Amazon or anywhere else online I'd tried.  So I'm psyched.

I've been watching these Due South episodes this weekend, catching up on a couple of tapes' worth.  The show is good -- kind of sweet and funny, and no more unrealistic than The Sentinel, really.  I never watched the show when it was in production, despite liking Paul Gross, because the other guy was so unattractive to me.  But he grows on you.  I've been walking around humming "Bald Headed Men."  ("Everybody knows it's testosterone that turns a bushy-haired man into a chrome-dome . . . ")

Tonight we had Thanksgiving dinner.  Well -- turkey, dressing, gravy, that stuff.  We weren't really celebrating Thanksgiving.  But this year we'll be traveling at both Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I won't be cooking turkeys then, and I love to cook that meal.  I think I'll update my recipe page soon with my Thanksgiving recipes.  Yummm.  And hey, Canadian Thanksgiving is only a week away.  :-)

Listening to:
Laurie Anderson,
Strange Angels
(ethereal!)

Wearing:
Levi's, the coolest jeans on earth

I'm listening to Strange Angels tonight.  It's an amazing album, sometimes profound and always beautiful.   And I love Laurie Anderson's sense of humor . . . only she could think of something like Babydoll.  Plus the cd liner has beautiful photos of her by Robert Mapplethorpe.  I saw her in concert back in 1991 or 1992, at Bucknell University in Pennsylvania.  She was incredible!

It turned cold here today . . . it feels like fall.   This weekend we'll drive out to look at the leaves and go to the orchard for apples, maybe.  There's always something new to see.  Maybe rollerblade before the leaves are all on the ground and it's too slippery and rough.

Moon update: almost full.  And tonight it was pinned up there like a silver dollar on black velvet, thin little clouds scudding along in front of it.  Wow.  Check it out!

Updated:
Gallery

Listening to:
U2, Achtung Baby

You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

~ U2, "One"

Poetry has never been one of my strengths.

Did you ever notice how perfect the inside flesh of a bell pepper is, when you get a nice fresh one and slice it open?  Red or green, it doesn't matter.  Those firm little cells full of water are so fascinating, packed in there so tightly.  Well, maybe they're only fascinating to me.

God, listening to Achtung Baby reminds me of when I first got hooked on it . . . two years ago in the fall, right around the time Jan and June were born.  It's still a great disc, one of my favorites of all time.  Absolutely in my top ten.

I'm reading The Last Time I Wore a Dress by Daphne Scholinski . . . it's a memoir of her treatments in psych hospitals for "gender confusion."  The scariest thing is, it happened in the 1980s, not the 1950s.   Eeeeek.  They spent a million dollars trying to get her to wear eyeliner and cross her legs and be happy about it.

Did I mention I got a haircut yesterday?  Even shorter than last time.  I love it.

Updated:
Links

Soundtrack provided by the Talking Heads.

You start a conversation you can't even finish
You're talking a lot, but you're not saying anything
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed
Say something once, why say it again?

Why is it that wormwood and psychokiller in juxtaposition send my mind toward Mulder and Krycek?  Well, I think I know.

Updated:
Recommended Reading

Color of the day:
Violet!

I'm really enjoying The God of Small Things.  Arundhati Roy has an amazing way of describing the world:

The slow ceiling fan sliced the thick, frightened air into an unending spiral that spun slowly to the floor like the peeled skin of an endless potato.

Besides that, the story is amazing, intriguing, unforgettable.

I'm rooting for the Chicago Cubs tonight.  They've been down so long that I want them to make it to the playoffs.  Although if they win, of course I'll stop pulling for them as soon as they start playing the Braves later this week.  :-)

Toenails:
CocoLoco Pride

Listening to:
Shawn Colvin,
A Few Small Repairs

Yale looks very ivy league with its spires and stained glass but New Haven itself seems to be really run down.  It's a strange juxtaposition. They have big iron gates on all the dorms and bars on the windows; guess it really is a high crime area. We went to the Yale bookstore, where I got a nice new notebook with the Yale seal (lux et veritas - light and truth). You can never have too many notebooks, and I was due for a new one.  This one is special, too, it has pockets for all those things I pick up and need to save.

Then we wandered down Broadway to Cutler's, the record store with most everything you can imagine and lots you can't. Their inventory is amazingly eclectic and they have a huge used selection, the biggest I've seen since I left Pennsylvania. And along the entire rear wall of the store they have working arcade games from the 80s -- Frogger, Dig Dug, Galaga, Space Invaders, Ms. Pac Man, Pole Position -- what a blast from the past! I found Shawn Colvin's latest, used, and a live disc by Christine Lavin. Good day.

Bumper sticker seen today:
"Support Your Local Clowns"

~shudder~

Eating:
Godiva chocolate
(yum, thank you Patt!)

Marty got a new passport yesterday.  It expires in 2008.  I keep telling him that it'll be expiring when he's 39 years old.  It almost seems like a joke to think that 39 can feel so close.  I remember when it felt like 29 would never happen, and here we are.  He'll be 30 in less than two months, and I will be in a little more than three.  It feels good, but it doesn't feel nearly as different from 25 as I expected it to.  I thought we'd be grownups by now!

Found today:
Conkers!
Horse Chestnuts, that is.  :-)  Shades of childhood in England.

Then we went for a walk in the park around the capitol building and found the conkers and sat by the fountain.  And when we were driving home we got lost in the 'hood for awhile . . . but it wasn't too scary.  Poor Marty was driving and I told him he should never take directions from me when I'm drunk but he kept doing what I said anyway.  Hee hee.  He's much too gullible.

Then, when we got home, I caught Marty whistling "Least Complicated" . . . happy smile.  You gotta love a man who likes the Indigo Girls.

I've been making a bunch of tapes this week and I also have the greatest new fonts to play with.  I've just been in heaven with the music and the design stuff.  Marty still says I should get a job with K-Tel, but I think it's a lost cause.  I don't think they're in business anymore.

Updated:
Gallery

Listening to:
Jann Arden,
Living Under June

Drinking:
raspberry tea

Cooking:
Kathryn's Pot Roast

It's cooled off here in Connecticut now, and it's starting to feel like fall (though I think it's supposed to warm up again tomorrow and this weekend).  Some of the trees are getting red and gold in the tops.

Last Sunday was the new moon . . . and last night was that sliver of a moon that I think I love best of all.  Shining out over the trees, with the two ends reaching up around the shadow of the earth.  Sometimes I almost can't stand how beautiful that is.  I wonder why I never noticed these things when I was younger?

Things have been interesting at work lately.  I've been given some things to do that are a little more challenging than the usual in this job, so that makes life more fun.  I'm still in talks with some of the people I've had interviews with, too.  It's funny how some days finding a job I love is so terribly important to me, and other days I feel like I can be happy with all the other things that are going right in my life.  Hm.

Updated:
Music (new!)
Links (hee hee!)

From the CDT:
"A trailer stolen in August was recovered Thursday, state police said, but almost $77,000 worth of cheese was missing. The trailer contained different kinds of Great Lakes cheese."

Heh heh . . . mmm.

It looked like a lot of fun.

Today I started a new part of the page -- a music section.  Recently I realized that music is one of the big parts of my life that is almost completely unrepresented on Raspberry World.   Just about that time, I visited Scott Kramer's page and loved the reviews and his CD collection section.  So I'm copying him.  :-)  Thanks, Scott.  Right now it's just a review of a couple of CDs I'm listening to these days, but I hope to do more soon.   I'll probably review some old favorites next.

Tomorrow's the first day of autumn.  One last sign of summer: a perfect tomato sandwich for dinner tonight, with a beautiful golden tomato and Hellman's original.  My favorite.

Earthworm update: big rains here today and the worms were on the pavement, stinkin' to high heaven.  Maybe that's why the birds were going crazy this afternoon?  Uhm.  I'll take the cheese, thanks.

Updated:
Recipes

Yesterday I drove up to a friend's in Massachusetts for a party, and met some new people. The number of interesting and intelligent women in slash continues to amaze and delight me.   Anyway, for the party I made one of my favorite quick recipes, Butterscotch Brownies.  They're delicious, and so easy.  Best to use pecans for the nuts if you can get them.

When I got home last night, Marty said, "I saw Katynka on TV today."  They were rerunning her appearance on C-Span 2, I guess, and Marty caught the end of it.  It's nice to have famous friends. ;-)

Monday, bleah.  Well, better get it over with.

Updated:
Links, Thoughts

Tonight:
Taping music,
making tape covers
:-)

Reading:
The God of Small Things,
Arundhati Roy
(WOW!)

Spent the early evening, after dinner, in the grocery store with Marty.   Funny how food shopping can be so amusing in the right company.  Did you know they have cereal now that is Oreo-O's?  My god, can you imagine?!  And for some reason we got a big kick out of the "No Pulp," "Some Pulp," and "Lots of Pulp" labels on the orange juice . . . hee hee.

Last night I watched East of Eden for the first time.  What a movie!  James Dean is just . . . well, he's James Dean, you know.   I wonder what kind of actor he would have been had he lived?  He was so good at those tortured bad boys who didn't want to be bad, but could he have played other roles too?  Hm.  Now I want to watch Rebel again.  Cal and Aron (in East of Eden) are amazing, but Jim and Plato . . . swooooon.  Thud.

Avoiding:
The Starr Report

I've been thinking of a new web project, a kind of collaborative site where people can write about what they're thinking about . . . kind of a Thoughts page for lots of voices, I guess.  I have some ideas but they're mostly unfocused.  I think it could house personal narratives, reflective pieces, maybe short pieces of fiction, I don't know what else.  Anyone else interested?  Write me if so, at susannahx@hotmail.com.

Night, all.  :-)

Updated today:
Online Journal
Links

It's been awhile since I was interested in much besides The X-Files on TV.  And I'm not too sure I think this move to LA is going to be a good thing -- I'm wondering if this is pretty much the beginning of the end.  I'll sure miss Mulder when he goes.

The other shows I used to watch, Voyager and The Sentinel, have been disappointing lately.  They've just about dropped off my roster.  Maybe the new seasons will be better.  But so far, Buffy and Due South are better than either of those.  And then again, there's always TNT's reruns of Starsky & Hutch.  One of the most loving couples ever shown on prime time TV.  :-)

Listening to:
Pet Shop Boys,
Discography
Suzanne Vega, 99.9F
Mary Chapin Carpenter,
Stones in the Road
Marc Almond,
Tenement Symphony
Semisonic,
Great Divide
James Taylor,
Never Die Young
Indigo Girls,
1200 Curfews

I just got back from visiting a friend (and my old hometown) in central Pennsylvania. It was a wonderful weekend. We ate Indian food, watched movies, did our nails, strung beads, and made the all-important pilgrimage to the Altoona Value City. And I bought two cases of Yuengling Lager, had Mario & Luigi's vodka sauce, and sold a bunch of old books and cds at the used bookstore and the used cd store.  (And of course, I bought a few books and cds, too.)

It was so good to see old places and old friends. But I was very happy to find that even though I had a wonderful time, visiting didn't make me homesick for my old life there. It almost surprised me -- when Marty and I visited Pennsylvania last April it was so hard to leave again.

So I spent many hours in the car this weekend, driving down there and back, and that explains the long list of things I've been listening to. Some of it is old stuff, some of it is stuff I just bought. The Mary Chapin Carpenter disc is really good; I think I like it almost as much as Come On Come On.  And that's saying a lot.  :-)

Today's Quote:
"It's round! We love it!"

Listening to:
Bruce Hornsby,
The Way It Is

I've been so lucky, really.  There have been so many old ladies who were instrumental in my life in one way or another, like Mrs. Van Horn and my great-aunt Mamie.  I'm sorry to lose them when they go, but I feel so fortunate to have known them at all.  They were smart and happy and they understood how to make the best of life.  You can learn a lot from old ladies.  (Maybe I should call them "elderly women" or something more sensitive, but they always seem like old ladies to me, and I think of them that way with the utmost respect.)

And now I've made a new friend -- Eunice, who's 80, who lives near me here in Connecticut, who I visit with a couple of times a week.  There's something very comforting to me about being around another smart old lady.  We have a good time together, laughing and talking and going out to Subway for dinner.  And when I see her tomorrow night, I know I'll think about Mrs. Van Horn, and be a little sad that she's gone.  But mostly I'll be grateful that I knew her, and that I learned from her (and the rest of them) how valuable old ladies really are.

Listening to:
Counting Crows, August and Everything After

Eating:
Lyman's peaches, mmmmmmm

Weather:
Thunderstorms!  All last night and all day today!

I have a date at the bookstore this Friday.  I've been clearing my bookcases, getting boxes of books ready to take out of here.  Same with the CDs, which are headed to the used CD store.   It's good to go through and simplify -- I think the clothes will be next.  My life is cluttered with the detritus of years of indiscriminate accumulation.  It's getting hard for me to breathe.  So getting rid of things is good, mostly -- I like the feeling of not having to worry about so much stuff anymore.  Plus it'll make it easier to move, when November rolls around.

Take Note:
Full moon tonight! It was beautiful last night. Don't miss it!

Listening to:
Talking Heads, Sand in the Vaseline (Popular Favorites)